Yu-Gi-Oh: The Other Abridged Movie/Transcript
Cast (In order of appearance): Yugi Muto, Joey Wheeler, Tristan Taylor, Téa Gardner, Miho Nosaka, Gary Stu, Seto Kaiba, Kemo, Anime Ving Rhames, Rex Raptor, Yami Yugi Date: January 31, 2008 Running Time: 9:59 Movie Title: Yu-Gi-Oh: The Other Abridged Movie Transcript The opening sequence Toei Animation's Yu-Gi-Oh! movie, "Kawaita Sakebi", plays but with the following subtitles: Corn on my mouth Moe's soup machine Naruto can't hang though they're keen Key yeah, yoohoo! You may want to look away Call at the coot: "My camera's on Rita!" Diary! I've developed an itchy knee Buy a weak old egg-nog, oh no! Yami & I mosh in Torino She threw away my super glue Quieter! Send Kirby down (COOCHIE!) Guess Arnold never knew never to kiss a Sue Criminal sends off to SEGA: "You owe me Thailand!" There any more of that celery? Caught a hiccup Walking down Art Carney Avenue Packin' heat She's got a Wii Tourniquet Frylock's high again Inside the restaurant, Yugi Muto and Joey Wheeler are playing Duel Monsters with Tristan Taylor and Miho Nosaka observing the game YUGI: Joey, have you noticed that we're being stalked by a strange, blue-haired girl? Is she a friend of yours? JOEY: (Not being able to see Miho) What're you talking about, Yug'? YUGI: (Looking a bit creeped out) This girl who's staring at me; just who the hell is she? JOEY: What girl? I don't see anybody. YUGI: Am I the only one who can see her? TRISTAN: (Not being able to see Miho either) Hey Joey! I think Yugi's gone crazy. Crazy, I tell you! JOEY: Ah, ha! He's definitely cracked. YUGI: Ha ha ha! You guys are so funny, now stop it. Outside the restaurant, three bullies gather around Gary Stu BULLY 1: Hey loser! We heard you got yourself some trading cards. BULLY 2: Yeah, what a joke! I bet he doesn't even know how to activate the Dark Luster Ritual card. You would have to be a total dork to not know how to do that. Inside the restaurant, Yugi notices Gary being bullied YUGI: Those bullies are being mean to Gary Stu! JOEY: Who the hell is Gary Stu? YUGI: I don't know, but apparently, he's my best friend. Outside the restaurant GARY: You guys should just leave me alone, because... I don't like playing card games! Everyone in the restaurant has a shocked look; some people even drop their Duel Monsters cards in shock JOEY: Oh, no he didn't! Outside the restaurant GARY: I'm going to go play in the park... without using my cards. Inside the restaurant JOEY: Man! A kid who doesn't like playing card games! His parents must be ashamed. TRISTAN: That guy's almost as crazy as Yugi. YUGI: Shut up, Tristan, or I'll rip out your esophagus and feed it to you. Téa Gardner suddenly appears behind Yugi TÉA: I'm just here to look pretty. On the ceiling of the restaurant, a security camera pans the restaurant and points at Yugi; Seto Kaiba appears to be spying on Yugi KAIBA: I have installed security cameras all over Japan, because when you're rich you can never be too paranoid. Also, I like to spy on Yugi just to make sure I'm always one step ahead of him. ANIME VING RHAMES: Yes, Mister Kaiba, but do we really have to watch him taking a shower every day? It seems a little unnecessary. KAIBA: (hastily) I must always be one step ahead. The scene changes to Domino High School as the children are being let out of school; a subtitle says "Domino High School"; below that, it says "12 days since last Godzilla attack"; the scene then changes to show Yugi and Joey walking JOEY: Hey Yug'! How come everything looks so different in this episode? YUGI: Actually Joey, this is a movie based on Yu-Gi-Oh! Season Zero. JOEY: There was a season zero? How come I never knew about it? YUGI: It only aired in Japan, because it was super violent and depressingly bad. JOEY: Man, the Japanese get all the cool stuff! YUGI: Um, Joey! We live in Japan. JOEY: We do? The scene changes to where it shows Gary Stu being chased and caught by Kemo GARY: Somebody help me! KEMO: Your under arrest for not playing card games! YUGI: Gary Stu's in trouble! KEMO: Those child grabbing classes were worth every penny. From behind, Kemo's arm is grabbed; he ends up losing his grip on Gary JOEY: Rejected! KEMO: What the... The scene changes to Joey behind Kemo JOEY: Your child grabbing skills are no match for my Brooklyn karate. KEMO: Hey! Let go of me! YUGI: Hey, aren't you the guy from Season One who kept saying "attention duelists"? KEMO: Attention duelists! I have no idea what you're talking about. I have orders from Seto Kaiba to kidnap that child and force him to take part in a card game tournament. By the way, has anyone seen my hair? I've been looking for it everywhere. YUGI: Aren't you supposed to be working for Pegasus? Why are you taking orders from Kaiba? KEMO: (slowly) ...I don't know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some children to grab. As Kemo is about to grab Yugi, Joey jumps from behind and gets Kemo into a grapple hold JOEY: Suprise butt sex! Go Yug'! I'm going to keep him distracted with my inappropriate gestures. KEMO: My hair is becoming aroused! Kemo manages to escape from Joey's grasp but is punched by Joey JOEY: Nyeh, Joey punch! The scene changes to where Yugi and Gary run down an alley YUGI: Come on Gary! Let's go! GARY: I don't know who you are, but okay. Both Yugi and Gary are gasping at this point YUGI: (Briefly gasping) I really got to quit smoking. Hey Gary, why don't you like playing children's card games like all the other kids? GARY: I just don't see the appeal. I rather do something creative with my time, like studying. YUGI: You can't really mean that, Gary. If you don't play card games, you'll never be happy. GARY: Leave me alone! YUGI: Gary, what happened to you? You used to be so cool. I looked up to you...which was pretty difficult since we've never actually met. Suddenly, a bald person with a dark suit and glasses appears in the alley by Yugi and Gary ANIME VING RHAMES: Well, what do we have here? As the camera moves to show more of Suit 2, the subtitles "ANIME VING RHAMES!" appears YUGI: Oh no! It's Anime Ving Rhames! The scene changes to Joey running down the street; a close pan shows his bruised face JOEY: Man, beating the crap out of that guy was much more satisfying than playing card games. I wonder why I don't do it more often. Joey notices Yugi and Gary beaten up on the ground in the alley; Duel Monster cards are scattered about on the ground JOEY: Yug'! Are you okay? What happened? YUGI: Anime Ving Rhames... came out of nowhere... and stole Gary's card. Upon hearing that, Joey rushes off JOEY: Sweet! Another excuse to kick the crap out of somebody! YUGI: No, Joey! This is a family show! We're supposed to solve our problems through teamwork and stuff! GARY: It's all my fault. I feel so ashamed. YUGI: Don't worry, Gary. I'm sure Joey will be able to resolve this problem without the unnecessary use of violence. The scene changes to a domed building with people lined up outside; an excerpt of William Tell Overture is playing in the background until Joey appears on the scene; from there, the music changes to "Feuer frei!" by Rammstein; Joey ultimately finds "Anime Ving Rhames" and proceeds to fight him. The scene changes to the inside of the building. Announcer: Seto Kaiba just defeated Rex Raptor without breaking a sweat. I can't imagine the shame he must be feeling right now. Rex: (leaves) He he he, this sucks. I'm gonna go like, dye my hair. Outside the building. YUGI: Joey! JOEY: It's ok Yug'. I'm bleeding internally, but I managed to save Gary's trading card. Now you can go duel Kaiba and get revenge for his darstardly scheme. Right Gary? That is what you want to do isn't it? GARY: I...I...No! Why won't anybody listen? Why does everybody believe there's something wrong with me? I just don't wanna play card games. Especially Duel monsters. It's stupid. JOEY: Gary snap out of it! You're talking like a crazy person! Quick somebody call a doctor! YUGI: Since Gary's apparently too much of a wuss I'll face Kaiba myself. JOEY: Great idea and me and Gary can watch because if Gary doesn't watch I'll kick the ever loving crap out of him? Isn't that right Gary? Yes it is. (Gary whimpers) Scene changes back to the dueling dome Announcer: And so Seto Kaiba defeats yet another duelist, no doubt crushing their dreams and sending them into a never ending spiral of grief. It seems as though nobody can defeat this billionaire genius. What a guy. I love him so. Yugi enters the arena with the caption "Here comes a new challenger!" while the music from Street Fighter II plays YAMI: I'm here to kick ass and play card games...and I'm all out of ass. KAIBA: When I'm through with you you'll have to take a shower to wash away the smell of defeat and I won't be watching you do it. YAMI: Why would you be watching me? KAIBA: I don't know. I just wanted to make sure you knew I wouldn't be. YAMI: But I never thought- KAIBA: (cuts him off) Good because I won't! YAMI: Why would I think you would be watching? KAIBA: (hastily) I dunno. YAMI: O...kay... KAIBA: I summon three Blue-Eyes White Dragons! YAMI: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of mon- KAIBA: (cuts him off) Yes, I summoned them all in one turn, stop asking. YAMI: I was just wondering is all. KAIBA: Yeah, well don't. Blue-Eyes, destroy his Dark Magician! YAMI: (summons Beaver Warrior) If you think that's impressive then take a look at my beaver! KAIBA: When you've seen one beaver you've seen them all. GARY: (in the stands with Joey) How long do these things usually last? JOEY: Well card games normally take a few episodes, but since this is a movie, it could technically go on for hours. GARY: (thinking while looking panicked) I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away! (Caption reads "three hours of painful, non-action later...") GARY: It's so clear to me now! JOEY: Nyeh? (Caption reads "this is precisely the reaction the makers of this movie expected from the general public...") GARY: This is the greatest game ever invented! And from this day forth, I'm going to spend my money on children's trading cards! YAMI: Play that funky music white boy! ("Feuer frei!" plays again as Meteor Black Dragon destroys Kaiba's Blue-Eyes) KAIBA: (leaving the arena) Yugi, you have shamed me once again. But I won't stop until I'm the undisputed master of card games. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go sue the people who made Eye of Judgment for the Playstation 3, like that isn't an obvious rip-off of Duel Monsters. By the way, has anybody seen Mokuba? JOEY: (runs up to Yami and grabs him from behind) Congratulations Yug'! This calls for some surprise butt sex! YAMI: Joey, with you, it's never a surprise. (sees Gary) Hey, Gary, piss off! Ending sequence plays with the following subtitles Coal miner Dad, I can't get the milk away Could an anime hooker eat Kenner's chimney? Shinobi Shoot that arrow key, Amiga Porco Rosso caught eating curry Vidal Sassoon Cloak a sea otter Raquelle had an emo man Come to Iowa Jeer at me or glare - I don't care Bonk Ulala Mm, gee...it's a Jew How Sagat tore through the room No more Matilda, kay? Now she can fall (she can hear ya!) Towed on a cable Goku can hardly caress underneath Jim Carrey's from Canada (Oh?) He hates you Keep him out of my hair, Neo Caption reads: Gary's parents sent him to an island somewhere and forced him to kill his classmates one by one. He returned home safely, only to be eaten by Godzilla. References *The footage from this movie was taken from Yu-Gi-Oh!, a movie which debuted in Japan on March 6, 1999. The reason the animation looks different in this movie compared to Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters was because this movie was produced by Toei Animation, the same animation studio that produced the first Yu-Gi-Oh! animated series (erroneously referred to in some communities as "Season Zero"). As with the Toei series, this movie was never officially released in the United States. *The part where Yugi says that he and Joey live in Japan is a reference to the fact that in the English dub of Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters, the series was Americanized to where Domino is located somewhere in the United States. Episode 24, "Egyptian Exhibition Expo 2007", of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series also pokes fun at this fact as well. *The reason Kemo's hair looks different in this movie is because he was drawn based on his appearance during the Death-T story arc in the manga. His hair receives its familiar look during the Duelist Kingdom story arc in the manga and Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters. *When Yugi asked Kemo if he's supposed to be working for Pegasus, it's a reference to the fact that it's revealed in the manga and a Japanese episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters that Kemo is actually a spy sent by Industrial Illusions to work for Kaiba Corporation. The English dub of Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters ignores this fact completely. *The caption at the end of the credits explaining that Gary was sent to an island to kill off his classmates one by one is a reference to the Japanese movie Battle Royale,where students from a selected class were forced to kill each other on an island due to a law passed by the government to deter the country's youth from rebelling against the adults. Category:Abridged Transcripts